Monday, October 26, 2009

Dear Diary



Today was the first day of school [ no not really. I posted this up late]. Awaken by my trusty red alarm clock, I got up, bathed and slipped into my lucky pair of jeans. As I ran the comb down my silky black hair, I practiced my awkward smiles in the mirror.


=) =D :) =S =>


Honestly,



I have


never. felt. confident. about. my. smile.


I was afraid of what people would think of me once they see me smile. Will they think that I'm a freak or will they think that I'm some kind of alien psychopath? HAHAHAHAHA!!!! =p

Anywho, I went to my first class at 10am. What was it again? Oh yeah. It was Psychology. I was early.......


NO. SCRATCH THAT.



Marilyn Leo can never be early for class.


XD


The class was jam packed with students who just came back from their long deserved holidays. I elongated my neck in order to scout for a seat. Finally, I ended up sitting beside two strangers. After a few minutes of settling down, I got bored. So bored that I started drawing boxes on my pathetic little sheet of paper. So bored that I started untangling a keychain that is as long as a necklace. (stares at Fang Min). Class ended after 2 hours and that somehow, concluded my first day of class. Lucky me have only 2 hours of class on Monday =)

Seriously?



You want to listen to me yap on my first few days of class?


Aight!Suit yourself!



What comes after Monday now? Oh TUESDAY!
The only thing that kept me sane on Tuesday was Cyber-P class. I got to be in the same class as Yang, Sam, Min, Mao and Jordan once again( Tell me, is this really going to change?) I even got free cornetto sundae from dear Yang because she simply loves me like that =p

Wednesday was not too bad, felt super tired after 4 hours of class straight. Had a 2 hour meeting on our Psychology assignment later on as well. Results are out!!! Let's just say..

I'm quite relieved with my results despite the way I studied. Much Love.

However, on this day itself, I did something that I now really regret. I want to turn back time so bad but talk about impossible. For the first time, the fear I sensed was not translated into words that would normally pierce a person's heart until there's no more space left to puncture. It hurt me so bad as I walked away. I'd rather have my heart pierced rather than YOU to suffer in silence. I teared but I think my hair covered it up well. All I can say is that I'm sorry. You may never see this but..... I'm sorry I did the one thing that could've caused us our lives. --Let me make it clear here. I want no pity or whatsoever. I wrote this here simply because I want to remember what happened on this very day. Give me space to realize my own mistakes. It might hurt sometimes but that proves I'm human just like any one of you.











;)
- super ugly wink I know. give me time!-

0 comments: